


Adric Gets Everyone

by Nope



Category: Doctor Who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-06
Updated: 2006-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25765975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nope/pseuds/Nope
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.





	Adric Gets Everyone

"Oh no," said the Doctor, taking off his reading glasses and pulling at his tie, "there's been a time-break and suddenly the TARDIS is filled with every companion I've ever had and all my past incarnations. Also, it is affecting continuity and characterisation. There's only one way to fix this -- we're all going to have to have sex."

"Awww, man," said Adric. "And I had maths to do!" He pouted a little.

"Never mind," said Nyssa, taking off her clothes and shaking out her hair, "you can play count the nipples with Tegan, Jo, Zoe, the Romanas, and I." She waved a hand at the similarly unrobed Companions (save Romana who had kept her boater on) who were cavorting in provocative poses.

"And me," said Turlough, ripping open his shirt. "I have man-nipples."

"It's no use, Nyssa," said Adric. "Okay, yes, I walk around in pyjamas all day like Hefner and, yes, my species' regenerative properties mean I can go all night like a human energiser bunny except without the furry connotations because everyone hates furries, but I was so looking forward to doing a bit of math."

"Perhaps," said Barbara, her naked thighs wrapped around Sarah Jane's head, "I should remind you of that ancient Earth command: go forth and multiply?"

"And if you and I get it on," said the Doctor, who was quite handy with balls and had his own bat, "it will be slash -- which is like a division in a way."

"That's the way," said Mel. "Think positive everyone!"

"I'm certainly uplifted," agreed the Doctor who was contemplating the bondage capabilities of his scarf.

"Oh, very well then," sighed Adric, untying his pants.

There was a moment of awed silence in the TARDIS, broken only by the noise of the littlest Doctor absently continuing to bugger Jamie with his recorder.

"Och, man, it's huge!" said Jamie.

"As a hot bed of long repressed sexuality just waiting to explode," said Victoria, "I'd like me some of that."

"Me too!" cried Ben, Polly, Peri, Fitz, and Frobisher. There were similar noises from Steven, Katrina, Anji, Sam, and Mickey, but they all had their mouths full so it came out muddled.

"There's morrre than enough to go arrround, lads and lasses," said the Doctor with a naked Dodo over his knee, gently smacking her rear with his umbrella.

"My screwdriver isn't the only thing I made sonic while bored," added the Doctor while Jack was unzipping his pants. "Dildos and strap ons for all!"

"Has anyone seen my little blue pills?" grumped the Doctor.

"Here they are, Grandfather," said Susan. "So, what are your thoughts on incest?"

Meanwhile, the unmentioned Doctors and Companions were making the beast with two, no, three, no, four... with many backs while K-9 recorded every porntastic movie from multiple angles, in between humping Bessie's exhaust pipe.

"I guess it's just me and you then, Rose," said the Doctor, kicking off his Converse shoes.

"Yeah, uh, I'm going with Adric," she said, slicking herself up with baby-oil and leaping into the writhing pile of naked people.

"But-- Oh." The Doctor sighed. The TARDIS made a sympathetic noise. The Doctor eyed her column. With a bit of luck and a bucket of lube, he might just be able to do something with that...


End file.
